Update:
I took it to the dealer for a recall and told them about the mirror issue at the same time. The "idiot" at the desk tried to tell me it was an optional feature that my vehicle didn't have; but on my insistence he put it on the work order. The mechanic was able to find the problem and was able to turn the option on. So now it works and I can shut the mirror unfold feature on and off. However I didn't realize before left that the "Neutral Towing" feature was still not there. Oh well, guess I'll deal with that another time --- "next recall".